Mamarati

I keep having this hope that I’m going to be in the mood to sit down and recap everything that’s been going on in my life.

But I have officially given up that hope and am just going to move forward.

I’m such a slacker.

I feel good this morning.

That is something I do want to talk about. I’ve spent a few months waking up and already having a headache, backache, neckache, general feeling of tiredness and whathaveyou… and I think the new pillow and getting some good sleep have helped a lot.

I think I also needed a vacation. Or more like, I really needed boyfriend to have a vacation with me. Like, we used to do a lot of tromping and stuff, and we haven’t done much of that because it’s been hot or we’ve been broke or just whatever… and it really feels good for us to have some time off and just go somewhere where we don’t have to worry about the house or work or anything like that.

Other reasons I’m feeling good:

Jacob is happy, despite some of his trouble at school and at his dad’s… he seems resigned to his current fate and I can see he is struggling to accept responsibility for all of these things. It’s supposed to be a struggle though, no?

Boyfriend and I are doing great… it’s two years now that we’ve been together and it just gets better every day. I worry less and less about all the stupid things about my body and my general personality not being acceptable to him and just all those insecure things that I’ve harbored for so long inside me… I feel like I’ve found my match in life, where I can be myself and not try to be anything else and it really does give me this feeling of completeness.

The election. How awesome was that? I have this little feeling of hope inside now and it’s a good thing.

The Wii is exciting and fun to have around. It’s kind of a good workout. Much more involving and physically engaging than other game systems that just make me feel like a couch potato.

School is about to start and I’m excited about that. I’m excited about it like I haven’t been in a couple of years. For once, I feel like my direction is spot on. I feel like I’m following a dream I’ve had since I was a child and instead of feeling ridiculous about it, I feel great. I just got off the phone with the financial aid office and my tuition is covered as well as books for 17 hours and that’s such a relief to already have that handled. I can’t wait for it to start, and of course, for it to finally be over… I’ve been chasing this piece of paper down for so long.

Work. Work is still work, and I got a raise of sorts, so that’s good. Every little bit counts there.

Speaking of which, that’s what I need to be doing right now.