Mamarati

ha.

I just realized the title is soooo appropriate.

It was a good morning, I will say that.

Yum.

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The start of the day seems to be paving the way for more goodness. I did the dishes already, have printed out everything I need for class this week… the paper that I still haven’t written is coming together nicely now.

I’ve had the door open today and it’s providing a cool, freshness to the air, since there’s a light rain going on out there. The cat’s been out on the porch all morning smelling stuff.

And some of the stuff going on at work yesterday is less bothersome today. Thankfully. I really shouldn’t have such a thin skin, but there are certain areas of my life where I’m a little less secure than I should be, a little more sensitive…

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In other news, the shooting in Virginia.

There’s this convocation going on right now on all the news channels.

I have to say, I completely missed it yesterday and didn’t have the news on or anything. Didn’t read my normal news sites because I was busy with work and school stuff… I had no clue about it until my boyfriend came home and asked me if I knew about it.

So, now there’s the convocation. And I am just wondering… why?

I mean, what is this thing? How can anyone get up there and talk about ? anything today.

Today.

The day after the thing happens. When the thing hasn’t even really sunk in. When everyone is still in shock and it’s still surreal to all involved. How can these people who seem so disconnected get up there with their well-meaning yet strangely empty words?

I guess I don’t know what it does for healing really. For people that you don’t know to get up there and say “my heart goes out to you” or “my prayers are with you” and all that… the same thing over and over again.

I guess I just think that they should wait for this stuff. Wait until you know who died. Wait until you can talk about their lives. Wait until this means something more than just “a horrific, scary thing happened.”

It just seems too staged. Even the word, convocation, seems like another boring event planned by university officials. I am probably biased, though, because that’s what all the “convocations” were at my old university. Really really cheesy, staged, boring events that were not really for students. They were for faculty and staff. I mean, they wanted all the students to be there and listen and clap and all that, and they were always disappointed when the turnout was so low… but it was all about the university officials. Barely relevant to students.

It just doesn’t seem real to me, I guess.

Real is saying more than “there is a time for all things” and all those prepared speeches. Real is acknowledging what really went on and how scared people probably still are. Real is saying, wow, what was going on in this guy’s life that would provoke him to do something so awful, so violent. Real is mourning. Real, serious, sad, desperate mourning for someone who you know you are going to miss so much.

I don’t know what I’m talking about. I guess I just think these ceremony things feel weird to me. Preachy. Fake. It sounds like the people are talking to the media and not to the people there who went through it.

Anyway, now it’s the moment of silence and the news is showing the crowd.

See, that’s the real part. Sadness, confusion, people holding each others hands and offering a shoulder. I think it’s amazing that there are so many students out there wearing their Virginia Tech sweatshirts. I think that’s great… that kind of unity.

I mean, I think there’s going to be some backlash because of the notification issue… the delay in letting students know that there was some danger or risk to their safety. But still, right now, in this moment, they are unified and pulling together and saying, this is our school. This is where we live and learn, and we’re still here. And even though something shameful has happened, there is still that pride there.

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I need to get back to writing. I was on a roll.