Mamarati

I’ve been scraped.

What a great time that was.

The pain started to get so bad on Friday that I decided I needed to go see the doctor. He decided to do the scraping thing so that the good cells could spread over the part where the bad cells didn’t seem to be able to take hold of my eye.

So, he got all his nifty tools out and numbed my eye with some drops. I didn’t feel a thing. However, I KNEW a thing. I knew that I could see exactly what he was doing which was scraping filets of my eyeball off with a fancy exacto knife and then placing the filets on a piece of gauze right next to me.

I then had what he called a “vasovagal response” which is to say that I passed clean out. I fainted.

While I was in my fainting stage, I was in my house, talking to people about how a thermometer device was screwed so far into the wall that you could hear the screw bumping up against the siding outside the house. I yelled at my boyfriend through the wall, “Do you hear it?”

And then I opened my eyes up and this strange man was above me telling me, “It’s OK, you fainted.”

What? Disorientation. Where the hell am I? What’s going on? Who are you?

Then I realized I was in the doctor’s office and that an exacto knife had just been coming at my eyeball repeatedly. And that I could see it. And I felt like fainting again.

He put a contact lens over it to serve as a bandage of sorts. We stopped by the liquor store on the way home and got some mojito mix, vodka from Dripping Springs, Texas, (just one more way I’m doing local food, haha) and some Irish Cream that was definitely not from Ireland. I’m a pretty squeamish person, so I knew I was going to need something to keep me from repeating the eyeball scraping scenario over and over and over in my head until I vomited.

It seemed to work. I drank mudslides all night and boyfriend rotated between mojitos and kamikazees. My eye hurt pretty bad all night and I didn’t get much sleep. At about 5am I woke up and took a long bath, hoping the moisture level in the bathroom would help ease some of the scratchy discomfort I was having… Not too much, but a little relief was better than none.

Went back to the doctor this morning for a follow-up and he said that the epithelial cells are already moving in the right direction and said everything looked good. He gave me some samples for preservative free eye lube since I was using the other about every 30 minutes yesterday… said to use the antibiotic drops 3x a day and he’ll see me on Tuesday to very gently remove the contact lens so that no damage occurs to the new layer of goodness. Then he said I’ve got a 2 week period where the cells need to strengthen and get firmly established so that this won’t happen again.

That’s the part I’m worried about.

Right now, I have almost no vision out of the eye that was scraped. It’s completely annoying. My depth perception is completely gone and it hurts to try and focus. For that reason, I just want to lay around with my eyes closed. I wish I could just turn that eye off so I could see. Now I really know how Jacob feels all the time… although truthfully, he probably shut his affected eye off years ago… but the depth perception thing is always gone for him. He’s completely adapted… I see it when he’s tired, it’s like he’s not trying to make up for it at all.

(Sigh)

I don’t know how I just sat here and wrote this whole thing out. Even the cursor looks like it is in a different spot than it really is. Weird. But no more. I’m going to get away from this computer for a few days and heal…

Hopefully I’ll be back on Wednesday…