Mamarati

Well, I started out an entry (unfinished) yesterday like this:

“The contact lens bandage has been peeled away and now I am left with this scratchy, dry feeling and the nervousness that I’m going to go to screw it up again.”

And as fate would have it, despite putting the thickest mineral oil / petrolatum mix on my eyes three times last night to keep my eyelid from sticking to my eyeball, I screwed it up again.

I woke up with my lid completely stuck and the pain was unbearable as my eye tried to roll into a normal position, taking my eyelid with it. I grabbed the drops and started squirting it in like crazy, hoping that it would facilitate smooth separation, but to no avail.

Pain, oh God, the pain.

I went to the bathroom to see if there was any obvious damage, and it was complete redness, just like before.

I called the doctor’s office and they squeezed me in. He looked at it and gave me those delicious pain drops that change my mood from “I want to die, please just take my eyeball out” to “Woohoooooooooooooo Party Time, Where’s the margaritas?” He said that I didn’t completely open it up, but that it looks like I’ve pulled it away from my eye a little bit, loosened it up around the edges. Nothing needing scraping yet, but since it’s causing me pain, it means that there’s definitely a problem there that could get worse.

So, he stuck another contact lens bandage in my eye and said that would act as a barrier between my eyeball and eyelid and would help press all this mess to my eyeball a little firmer. He said to use the lube drops every 15 minutes and go back on the antibiotic drops. Call if it’s worse before the weekend, otherwise, this is staying on until Tuesday.

Which is fine with me. I can’t take much more of this pain and ripping and such. Once again, though, I’m sitting here typing through a fog. Using spell check and I never do that. I just can’t read my own words enough to know if I’m screwing up. I have so much work to do, so many projects going on… and all I can do is sit around in the dark, take baths, be mopey, take naps and watch Law and Order. If I wasn’t in so much pain, that all might sound like a good time…

I’ve had it with you, eye. Straighten up and fly right.

I did get these fancy goggles to wear at night, though. Oh yeah. You want me.